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I have been close companions for over two decades, a person who's overcome many obstacles, and I respect her for that. But, she's constantly blindsided by people. Her spouse ended their marriage, which came as an unexpected event. Many of her friends drifted away then, since they had been only interested in her husband. It shocked her deeply. She put in greater energy in our friendship, probably realised better the meaning of companionship.

Ongoing Issues With Friends Drifting Away

Throughout this period, many of her friends have disappeared and she isn't sure why. Her previous job suddenly changed toward her, despite the fact that she had been very skilled at her work, her exit happened unaware of what had changed.

Present Situation

Recently, we have each left the workforce and are seeing each other more, yet I realize the part I play in our friendship is to listen. I introduce topics of conversation but she shifts the talk toward things she cares about. Politically, she expresses unyielding views. I attempt to suggest double-checking information or other angles.

She's been organizing a vacation to a country I know well repeatedly even called home for a while. I tried to share insights, however, my input not welcomed. She purely only wanted me to confirm her decisions. I've just returned from a month in that place and she wants to catch up, however, I hesitate.

Considering the Choices

I hesitate to be a friend who abandons suddenly abruptly, yet I doubt she'll truly comprehend the impact of how she acts on how I feel about myself. At this point, I find myself in distancing myself. What's the best step?

Potential Solutions

It's possible to end things abruptly, however, that approach is seldom a smooth outcome we imagine. But confrontation with the goal of a solution demands strength and openness on both your parts.

Therapists recommend trying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Step one involves describing how things go when you talk. It should be based on facts like exactly what occurs. The second is to express her how it affects you emotionally. This allows for no dispute about this. Your feelings are your feelings, naturally. The third step is to ask how you are both going to change the dynamics between you."

Keep in mind she too has her own side, so you need to remain ready to hear that. One effective method is telling her:

"Now you talk and I promise to listen without interrupting for half an hour."

This can be effective in fostering mutual respect.

Final Thoughts

She might reject all you say, for those who hold onto a “survival narrative”: they maintain a narrative of their life they're unable to release since their identity depends upon it being the only thing they trust. This is difficult when there seems no easy route here, mere obstacles. Yet she could at first react this way then consider on your words. And should a resolution isn't found a resolution, it will give you closure knowing you were truthful.